Sancho Días vs. Hex Banshee and Lucifer w/Damian 11/03/08

Wood: Welcome everybody to SWE Chaos! Brought to you this week from Beijing China!
March: This is gonna be a great night Wood, this crowd is ecstatic!
Wood: You're not wrong March. These fans are ready for some action, and boy do we have a great show lined up for you tonight!
March: We sure have Wood. Coming up tonight we have triple threat action as "the prophet" Darren Devia takes on The Criminal and "Scorpio" Dean Phillips.
Wood: And the triple threat stipulation makes this an interesting one as you don't have to be pinned to lose the match.
March: You're right there Wood. I've been in my fair share of triple threat matches, and you have to have eyes in the back of your head because if you're out of the action for just a few seconds, you could have lost the match.
Wood: That's precisely what I'm talking about March. But that's not all tonight, in the main event we have two competing styles of wrestling meeting as the skilled mat technician Bret Ace meets the high flying, hard kicking Lee Fu in a submission match.
March: There are no pinfalls in this match, you win by hurting your opponent so badly that they can't continue to compete. And you've gotta think that this sort of match is going to favour the Diamond Ace as he relies so much more on his mat wrestling, his holds, and his submission manouvres than Fu does. No offence to the guy, but when your less than 200 lbs and your main offence consists of leaping off a turnbuckle and yelling "Hi-ya!", then you ain't gonna win a submission match.
Wood: I think you're wrong there March. Fu has as much chance as Ace in this match due to the sheer speed and pace of this guy. Lee Fu can knock you out twice before you even know what's hit you. His size will help him escape moves that would ground larger superstars, and his speed means that he could have you rolled into a submission move in the time it takes most superstars to give you a kick in the guts.
March: Well we'll have to agree to disagree there Wood. But no matter what your opinions on the participants, we are set to have one brutal main event.

Sancho Días Music, "For a Fistful Dollars", hits over the PA.

Wood: And talking of brutal, that's the only way you can describe our first match tonight.
March: Damn right. This match is going to take brutality to a whole 'nother level.

Sancho Días, riding Samuel, appears on the apron. He is wearing a red poncho of the Chinese flag, and Samuel has two large saddle bags. He smiles as he waves at the crowd, who cheer as he rides out.
The Bell Rings

Such: The following contest is a Mexican Rules 2-on-1 handicap match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, sponsored by Jack Daniels Tennassee Whiskey, from Castillo Del Diablo, weighing in at 328 lbs, Sancho Días.

Sancho smiles cheesily, brandishing his bottle of whiskey as the camera zooms in on him. He fires a few cap gun shots and continues to the ring, waving to the crowd.

March: I don't like this guy, everybody knows that. But I like even less what's about to happen to him. He is going to take on two monsters in a 2-on-1 handicap match, with no disqualification! That's just asking for trouble.
Wood: I certainly wouldn't want to be in Sancho's position that's for sure, but he's a ring veteran, and as he said himself, he's been in bar brawls all of his life, and this environment without rules might favour him.

Sancho rides around to the announce table and ties Samuel up to it. He takes a swig of whiskey before handing the bottle to Wood and March. He takes the saddle bags off Samuel and throws them into the ring with a thud. He then grabs a steel chair and throws that in after them, and then follows that up by throwing in the steel stairs.

March: Could somebody please explain to me why this Mexican is being allowed to trash the arena? This is criminal damage!
Wood: He's preparing for his match. And with the odds stacked against him as they are, he should be allowed to do what he needs. It's no disqualification after all.

Sancho climbs into the ring and opens one of the saddle bags, pulling out a green glass bottle, a lassoo, a lead pipe, a 2x4, and a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire. He grins evilly to the crowd as the earlier meeting in the GM's office is shown on the titantron and to the audience at home. He sets the stairs up in the corner, takes off his sombrero and poncho, unfolds the chair and places it next to the stairs, sitting down on it and grabbing his wire-wrapped bat and the bottle, which he drains in one gulp before putting on top of the saddle bag.

TBC by Hex or Lucifer

The lights start to dim and lighting bolt strikes the arena then Down with the Sickness by Disturbed plays. First Damian comes out then he slams his cane on the ground then fire shoots out on the ring posts and Sancho almost gets a heart attack. Damian starts to laugh and Hex Banshee and Lucifer comes out.

Such: Coming next to the ring next accompanied to the ring by Damian, at a combined weight of 635 pounds the team of Hex Banshee and Lucifer the The Underworld.

March: This is the beginning of the end for Sancho here.

Wood: Hey ur not sure this is a no DQ match that means that Sancho can use weapons so it's pretty much a fair advantage for him.

March: True but what if Lucifer or Hex get a weapon?

Wood: Well just have to wait and see Thomas.

The three enter the ring so dose Sancho and Damian grabs a mic.

Damian: Now we havent really talked so i thought we could get to know eachother. My name is Damian Hex Lucifer.

He goes to shake Sancho's hand but he just backs away.

Damian: Well i guess ur one of those shy people, Now i see you but where is that Jason at? Oh yeah he can't make at haha well that makes it a little easier for my sons because they can double the pain on you i guess. Won't we all like it i bet the fans well too when they see a drunken Nacho Libra beaten like he should be! But i will say something that you might have not heard on that interview Let the Underworld Unleash on those Sins who have hurt my sons!

Hex and Lucifer attack Sancho out of nowhere and they start to punch him one by one then they both pick him up and throw him out of the ring. They go out of the ring and grab him and put him in the ring, the match will start out with Sancho and Lucifer. Lucifer picks him up and irish whips him then big boots him.

TBC by Sancho Días

March: Thing's aren't looking good for Poncho here, and the match has only just started.

As Sancho gets to his feet, Lucifer grabs him by the neck with one hand.

Wood: Lucifer is going to try and put Sancho away here!

He waits a moment too long and Sancho gives him a low kick. Lucifer doubles over in pain as Sancho retreats to his corner.

Wood: It looks like Sancho isn't going to go sparingly on these normally illegal moves.
March: He's a typical Mexican Wood, cheating from the word go.

Sancho grabs up his lassoo and swings it, landing it around Lucifer who is still clutching his private parts, and so his arms are trapped. He then pulls Lucifer towards him and meets him with a short-arm clothesline.

March: Nacho Libra here at least seems to know what he's doing with all those foreign objects.

Sancho drags Lucifer up and hits another short-arm clothesline. He doesn't wait for him to recover before mercilessly laying into him with stiff stomps and kicks. Hex swipes for Lucifer trying to get a tag as he gets up, but Sancho drags him away just in time. He then grabs a chair and jabs Lucifer in the guts with it. As Lucifer bends over from the impact, Sancho delivers a chairshot straight across his back, immediately following it up with a second and a third, knocking Lucifer to the ground.

Wood: Sancho showing some real skill at hardcore wrestling here.
March: I can't deny that he's doing well, but how badly can he do if he's got his opponent's arms trapped?

Sancho continues to mercilessly beat Lucifer with the chair for another 5 seconds before disgarding the dented, unusable chair. Lucifer rolls out of the ring and leans on the announce table for support. Sancho follows him and uses the lassoo to whip Lucifer into the turnbuckle. As Lucifer reels from the impact, Sancho grabs the green bottle and drains it in one gulp, singing out drunkenly (and badly) "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie... That's Amoréééééééééééé!" before smashing the bottle over Lucifer's head.

March: That man's about as good a singer as you Wood!
Wood: But he's certainly better at hardcore wrestling than me.

Hex Banshee, clearly frustrated, advances around the ring to stop Sancho's brutal assault. Sancho sees this though and quickly shoves Lucifer into the ring, following him quickly, much to Banshee's annoyance. Sancho spends some time messing around in his bag and eventually comes out of it with a pair of brass knuckles on his left hand. However, Lucifer has used this opportunity to get his right arm free. Sancho grabs Lucifer up and whips him against the ropes. He goes to punch Lucifer with the knuckles but Lucifer ducks and bounces off the opposite ropes, charging at Sancho. Sancho has just enough time to raise his right arm up and the two double clothesline each other onto the ground.

Wood: Both men are down after a gruelling start to this match.
March: This match is an absolute slobberknocker and I'm loving it Wood.

Sancho gets up first and goes to whip Lucifer again. Lucifer uses his free arm to counter though and whips Sancho into the ropes, meeting him with a huge big boot to the face in the centre of the ring. He pulls his other arm free and tags in Hex Banshee, who climbs into the ring eagerly.

TBC by Hex or Lucifer

Hex Banshee charges in and starts to choke Sancho in fustration, he then picks him up about to chokeslam him but Sancho starts to punch Banshee then kicks him in the jaw and he then let goes of Sancho. Lucifer comes back in attacking Sancho from behind he picks him up but Sancho starts to punch Lucifer and Hex starts to come near so he clothelines both at the same time and they fall to the ground.

Wood: He got them both down at the same time!

March: Yeah, but he still hasn't beaten them yet.

He rolls Lucifer out of the ring then goes to Hex where he gets on his knees and just punches him in the face, jaw everywhere. In the outside Damian gives Lucifer his cane and Lucifer goes in the ring and as Sancho is still punches Hex he wacks Sancho in the head and is knocked out. Lucifer grabs Hex arm and puts it over Sancho and gets the ref in 1...2...he raises his hand, Lucifer starts to scream and pull his hair Damian gets on the apron trying to calm down Lucifer, Sancho gets up and runs full charge into Lucifer who hits Damian who lands face first onto the ground.

March: OMG! he landed hard on the ground.

Wood: I know someone needs to bring some help out here!

Hex sees what happened and has a scary look in his face and tackles Sancho then punches him, then Lucifer grabs the cane and uses it to choke Sancho and his face starts to look purple so the ref pushes Lucifer and tells him to stop so Lucifer grabs the ref and throws him out.

Wood: Theres not a ref to watch the match.

March: Calm down, im sure there will be a new one.

Damian starts to get up and tells Lucifer to give him his cane so Lucifer does then Damian comes in and starts to wack Sancho and he starts to bleed from his nose and his skull. Damian stops and tells them to double chokeslam him so they pick him and Chokeslam him and he lands on his pick and his head bounces off the ground. They pin him but there is still no ref so Damian grabs the mic Damian: Hey, we need a ref to pin this damn match! so a ref comes down quickly so they dont do anything to him 1...2...the ref sees Sancho's foot on the rope.

TBC by Sancho

OOC: There are no ropebreaks in this match.

Hex Banshee gets up, murder in his eyes, he screams at the referee,
"THERE ARE NO ROPE BREAKS IN THIS MATCH YOU ASSHOLE!!! NOW COUNT THE DAMN PIN!!!!"
The ref is clearly shaken by the outrage of this giant, and as Hex Banshee covers Sancho again, he goes for the count.... 1....2.... Sancho kicks out as the referee's hand comes down for the three. Hex thinks that he has won and gets up confidently, but the ref tells him that he only got a two. Hex looks at the ref in disbelief, shouting at him and threatening him. The ref backs away but Hex reaches out and grabs him by the throat. He raises the referee up and delivers a thunderous Chokeslam.

Wood: He can't do that to the official!!!
March: That damn official screwed him over! First he breaks the count when there aren't even any ropebreaks, and then he counts slowly? Hex Banshee has every right to be mad at the referee, I'd have done worse myself.

Hex picks the bloodied Sancho up and delivers three slow, hard punches to him, knocking him down with each one. He then whips Sancho against the ropes and bends down for a back body drop, but Sancho sees what is coming and kicks Hex straight in the face. It doesn't seem to affect the maddened Hex though who stands straight up and stairs at Sancho. Sancho bounces off the ropes and tries to charge Hex but he is met by a vicious right hand punch, knocking him straight down. As Sancho struggles to his feet Banshee is behind him and he locks Sancho in the Skeleton Crunch. Sancho writhes in pain as Hex tightens the hold, but like a flash of lightning he lands a quick kick between Banshee's legs, causing the giant to double over in pain.

Wood: Ooh that's gotta hurt.
March: I'm surprised that Mr. Useless referee hasn't disqualified Sancho. He clearly doesn't know the rules.

(Both referees are still out).

As Hex is still bent over, Sancho turns around and puts Hex's head between his legs. Sancho then wraps his arms around the monster's gut and lifts him up, dropping down into a hard piledriver.

March: Somebody call the guinness book of records, this guy actually hit a wrestling move rather than a disqualification offence!

Sancho taunts Hex but then turns round quickly and charges at Lucifer, knocking him off the apron. He then turns around to finish Hex off, but Banshee has sat up, and is standing ready to greet Sancho. He lifts him up and drops him with a hard bodyslam, repeating this twice before Sancho stops getting up. Hex drags him up and whips him against the ropes, delivering a hard clothesline to Sancho who rolls out of the ring. Sancho is struggling, leaning against the side of the ring as Banshee tags in Lucifer. They both go over to the ropes and grab Sancho on the outside, lifting him to the ring apron, however, Sancho quickly grabs them around the back of their heads and delivers a super jawbreaker on the ropes. Lucifer drops, but Banshee stumbles and leans on the ropes. Sancho grabs the whiskey on the announce table and takes a swig of it before sliding into the ring.

March: Hey I was drinking that!
Wood: I thought you wouldn't touch anything he'd touch.
March: I...I...
Wood: Just shut up and watch the match will ya? This has been a great display of hardcore wrestling so far and I don't want you to interrupt it.

Sancho goes over to where Hex is leaning on the ropes and punches. Hex blocks and punches Sancho down. Sancho stumbles to his saddle bags and then gets up slowly, taking his time to turn around to Banshee who is stalking him. Banshee moves in but suddenly Sancho raises his hand to his mouth and spits a huge gout of flame at him, Hex falling back and clawing at his face in pain.

Wood: OH MY GOD!!! WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL WAS THAT!!!
March: HE CHEATED!!! THAT CAN'T BE LEGAL!!!
Wood: WHATEVER IT WAS, IT SEEMED TO WORK!!! SANCHO SPITTING FIRE LIKE A MEXICAN DRAGON!!!

The screen doubles up and shows a replay of the move, showing in close up how Sancho spat alcohol through a lit match at Banshee. As Hex writhes around, Lucifer is gradually getting up, but the general delivers a stiff right hand to him, using a second pair of brass knuckles. Lucifer falls over backwards and slams onto the mat. Sancho climbs onto the turnbuckle and delivers a huge Flying Mexican body splash to Lucifer, covering him for the pin but there is still no ref, the fans counting the one-two-three instead.

Wood: And by rights, this match should have been won by now by one Sancho Días, but due to Banshee and Lucifer knocking out both of the referees, that isn't the case.
March: Hey! That's not true! Banshee had this match won until that idiot referee forgot that there were no rope breaks in a match like this.

Sancho gets up as Hex advances on him. Sancho hits a low blow though and lifts Hex onto his shoulders into a Samoan Lift, before raising him above his head and delivering a hard Tequila Sunrise to him. He then follows up with a Tequila Stretch on the ground, Banshee unconscious and unable to respond. He keeps this hold locked in for about a minute before Lucifer comes up behind him with a steel chair and clouts Sancho across the head and back, Sancho falling back in pain. Lucifer lifts him up and delivers several straight punches before whipping Sancho across the ring and meeting him with a big boot to the face. Sancho crawls over to his saddle bag and grabs the barbed-wire baseball bat, as Lucifer grabs the steel chair. they smash at each other and the weapons deflect the blows. Lucifer swings again but Sancho smashes the chair out of his hands, clouting him round the head with the bat and knocking him down. Sancho shouts "Home run!", before grabbing Lucifer's legs and trapping him in a figure four leglock.

Wood: What an unexpected move from Sancho, I wonder if Lucifer has what it takes to get out of this.

Lucifer is still unconscious, but Banshee climbs to his feet and trips, landing across Sancho and pinning him. Both referees come round at the same time and slide into the ring, one counting the pin on Lucifer, and one counting the pin on Sancho... 1....2....3!!!! Both referees signal for the bell, but then look at each other and begin to argue with each other, meanwhile Hex Banshee is looking on confused.

Wood: Who won the match? Both pins were counted so...
March: It's obvious who won the match! You can't win by pinfall if you're the one being pinned!

The referees argue as Sancho gets up and joins in. After about 30 seconds, senior referee Bruno Hayes marches down to the ring and sternly admonishes both referees with much finger pointing. He then dismisses both of the referees and walks over to the timekeeper and announcer, and explains the situation to them before climbing into the ring.

Such: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled that as both sides were pinned at the same time, neither could score a pinfall, therefore he is restarting the match.

The crowd cheer as Sancho and Hex shout at the referee, clearly angered that they didn't win. They shake their heads and circle, before locking up again.

TBC by Banshee or Lucifer

As Hex Banshee and Sancho are about to lock Damian gives Lucifer the barbwire bat then Lucifer hits Sancho in the back with the bat knocking out Sancho. Both pick him up and Lucifer holds on to him as Hex grabs the bat to hit Sancho but when he dose Sancho low blows Lucifer and is let go so Hex misses Sancho and hits Lucifer then Sancho then DDT's Hex. He goes to the outside to grab the steel steps but Damian comes to him and is about to hit him with his cane but Sancho grabs it then hits him in the head with the cane. He goes back to the steel steps and grabs it then brings it to the ring and puts it in the corner and grabs Hex then bodyslams him into the turnbuckle and is caught and dose his Mexican Death Drop .

Wood: Oh my god! this match is done.

March: Come on Lucifer!

Sancho grabs Hex and moves him to the middle of the ring 1...2...Lucifer breaks it up coming out of nowhere. Lucifer picks up Sancho and Powerbomb's him to the canvas he then moves Sancho to the middle then he runs to the ropes and runs back and dose an Avalanche. He pins him 1...2...Sancho barleys raises his arm Lucifer starts to get fustrated and he dose another Avalanche and pins him again 1...2... Lucifer raises his arm and he goes to the outside and grabs a table from under the ring.

March: Time for tables!

Wood: I have a bad feeling about this.

March: Stop ur stupid whining and watch the match like you told me.

Wood: You know you've been insulting people ever since the beginning of the match.

March: You have a problem with that.

Wood: .....

He brings it into the ring and sets it up near the turnbuckle then he lifts up Sancho onto the turnbuckle and Lucifer then climbs onto the turnbuckle and trys to suplex him off the turnbuckle threw the table. As he trys Sancho starts to punch Lucifer then Lucifer starts to punch Sancho. Lucifer then starts to fall but when he dose he grabs Sancho and they both fall! The ref sees Lucifer's arm over Sancho's body so the ref pins 1...2...3. Pinfall: Lucifer and Hex Banshee.

Such: The winners of this match by pinfall is Hex Banshee and Lucifer the Underworld!

March: Well i knew they would win haha.

Wood: Well it was a 2 on 1 match what do you expect and his oppenents were the biggest wrestlers in SWE!

Lucifer gets up and helps up Banshee then they both get there father Damian as they celebrate with there win. Referres help out Sancho Dias as he is all bloody up.

Wood: That was one brutal match for sure but stay tune for more action on SWE Chaos as we go on commercial break!

Winners: The Underworld

Thanks for finishing Lax, sorry i been in hospital with an appendix burst so i didnt no , im back now Great Match

no problem dude glad to see ur ok